Duo Maxwell's 21st Birthday
by Saphira112
Summary: Oneshot slightly cracky fic I wrote for a friend. It's Duo's 21st birthday and he's focusing more on his conversations with Wufei and making alcohol holy along the way.


**A/N: **This was written over on MangaBullet for a friend of mine who just turned 21. Please excuse some OOCness. The dialogue is mostly based off our conversations. It's somewhat cracky.

Duo Maxwell's 21st Birthday

Oneshot

It was Duo Maxwell's 21st birthday.

Of course, there was a cause for celebration, in the pilot's humble opinion! He could finally drink – legally! Not that he'd never had a drink before. In the war, sure, he didn't drink and couldn't get enough in his system to be considered drunk, but hey, he'd had a sip here and there while he was uncover in the bar. It had been necessary. And by no means was Duo a lightweight, thank you very much.

But yeah. It was his 21st birthday. And he wanted to drink. A lot. Well, maybe not a lot, considering, but definitely experiment and try different drinks. And besides, if he got too smashed, he knew he – unlike many – would keep track of what he had and then figure out what caused the horrid hangover of doom and then not do it the next time. Unless it was something ridiculously yummy and then he wouldn't care. The best drinks were always the worst, Duo noted.

Anyway!

So he invited everyone he knew – yes, _everyone_ (that included Heero) – out to a bar in a downtown on Colony L2. Of course, it wasn't the best bar in space but hey, no one could say that Duo didn't have taste. The outside was quite misleading, what with the sign with a slightly half-naked woman on it – something Wufei would definitely _not_ approve of, he noted – but the inside was completely different from what it seemed to be. The bar was quite clean and there was only smoking allowed behind a door off to the far left or outside. The taps and bottles were of all sorts – different beers, whiskeys, a few bottles of rum and definitely Scotch, along with a few bottles hanging overhead of wines from way back when, dates Duo couldn't remember for the life of him, but hey, he probably wasn't gonna remember after tonight anyway.

Duo made sure everyone was coming – yes, even Heero came along – before he set out. He was dressed in slightly different attire; he kept his clerical collar shirt on (he had it tailored due to his slight growth in height), but changed into more comfortable jeans that some would think could not _possibly_ be comfortable, considering how tight they were to the other outside eyes, but hey, Duo was comfortable and they made his ass look good. Sure, he wanted to be comfortable in his clothes, but he wanted to look sexy, too. Could anyone blame him? Pfft. No.

But here he was, sitting at the bar, already having downed three drinks of... whatever the stuff was. It was something mixed with Coca-Cola. Amaretto? Amaretto... di Amore. Yeah. It was that stuff. Tasted kind of almond based and mixed with Coke, it tasted like Cherry Coke. Thus why he had downed three... no, four, it was four... in the past ten minutes. It didn't burn, it slid down easily, and it tasted damn good. The Coke watered the Amaretto down a little since Duo liked his drinks cold.

Earlier, when Duo had walked in, the bartender had asked him why a priest wanted to drink. Duo had just grinned and said, "I'll make it holy for you!" Automatically, he was practically the bartender's best friend and he sat up right where the man could come and visit him and talk when Duo was downing a glass of whatever he wanted. Not that Duo was ignoring his friends sitting near him. Oh, no.

They were all sitting at the bar, actually. Heero wasn't too pleased, because he was on the end sipping a straight up Root Beer. No alcohol at all. Duo had huffed and called Heero a spoiled sport when he saw that it wasn't real the real stuff. Oddly enough, Quatre was drinking a little tonight with him, except he got light stuff... what was it... probably just a simple spiked lemonade or something. Duo didn't care as long as he wasn't the only one drinking. Twas no fun that way!

Trowa was drinking just normal beer... wait, what beer was normal? More so it was the medium stuff. The stuff where you drink five of, you can potentially get drunk, but it depended on the person... so the medium stuff. Yeah. Sure. We'll go with that.

Of course, Wufei wasn't drinking at all. Like, he wasn't even drinking anything normal like soda or _anything_. Duo pouted. Which caused Wufei to order a water. Pfft. Man, the guy was no fun, was he?

"Hey, Wu, loosen up a little," he said lightly after his fifth shot of the Cherry Coke-tasting alcohol, grinning somewhat like a fool, in the Chinese male's opinion. "Have a shot or two. Scotch burns a bit from what I've heard, but it's real good!"

Wufei snorted. "I believe either Yuy or myself are the designated drivers after this escapade."

Duo giggled, his eyes lighting up. "Haha, I'm an escapade!"

Wufei rolled his eyes, hiding a bit of a smirk behind his hand as he rested his head on it. Truthfully, he was a tad amused at Duo's antics. They were funnier than normal. Wufei wasn't sure as to why. But it was true. Ah, well. If Duo went way over the limit, Wufei could always poke fun at him in the morning with a (gentle) scold and an, "I told you so" already prepared. For now, let the pilot have his fun. Hilde wasn't around to scold him for Wufei – she had regretted not making it – and the only girls there were Dorothy, Une, Noin, and Relena. Of course, Relena was trying to get Heero to talk. Wasn't working out too well.

"Besides, Wu," Duo exclaimed as he downed his – what, eighth glass _already?_ - of Amaretto/Coke mix. "If you won't drink a little Scotch or whiskey, then I'll drink it for ya!"

There was that silly grin again. Wufei thought Duo was joking, but as he watched Duo throw his head back to down a shot of whiskey, he found his eyebrows raising in both surprise and slight... mirth. He noticed Duo swaying slightly and shot out a hand to steady him. "Don't tell me you're drunk already." Then again... Wufei eyed Duo's eight – now nine – empty glasses and shook his head. "Can you count how many you've had?"

Duo blinked and looked at his glasses and held up both hands, fingers out. Wufei sighed. One too many. Duo didn't think so as he grinned, fully confident in his numbering. Wufei put a hand to his forehead. It wasn't even that late, yet. Only somewhere around eleven thirty. He watched as Duo brightened considerably at seeing the man pour him a shot of whiskey on the house. Behind Wufei, he could hear Quatre giggling and Trowa chuckling under his breath at Duo's enthusiasm. Wufei had to admit, Duo _did_ look like a child who had just gotten his first toy truck. Or robot. Quite ironic, really.

"This one's for you, too, Wu!" Duo said happily as he downed another shot, this time of Scotch. He put the glass on the table, blinking rapidly for a moment before giggling a little. It turned into a tiny little hack and Duo ended up laughing his way out of it. "Man, it burns, but it kinda feels good."

It was true. There was a tingling sensation in Duo's throat, around where his Adam's Apple was and he giggled a little more. Wufei propped his head up on his knuckles, resting his elbow on the bar counter. "Drink some cold water, Maxwell."

Duo shrugged. "Nah, I'll be good."

"Maxwell. Water. Now."

"Fine, fine," Duo said, chuckling a little. "You nagger."

"Would you prefer me egging you on?" Wufei asked, curious.

"Actually, yeah, cause that would be fucking hilarious!"

"I'd rather not." Wufei then turned to the bartender and got another glass of water, this time for Duo. Wufei actually was somewhat egging Duo on, whether the Chinese male realized it or not. Every drink Wufei declined would be given to Duo... indirectly. Never mind the fact the Asian pilot wasn't actually of legal drinking age. Yes, Wufei had found Duo turned 21 before him. Wufei was only 20 now. Give him another two – maybe three – months, if he remembered right and he'd be able to drink as much as Duo.

Not that he would, come to think of it. He'd prefer to just stick to his tea. Hot, comfortable, and more satisfactory. And definitely a more genuine taste than the iced tea Duo introduced him to. How so many people could drink it, Wufei didn't know. It was God-awful.

Wufei passed the cold water glass down to Duo next to him. The braided pilot had decided to sit right next to Wufei from the beginning, so the distance between them was quite close. Occasionally, Duo's right knee would knock against Wufei's left and he would make the discomfort known for a brief moment and then it would be lost in Duo's hazy mind. Well, Duo wasn't exactly tipsy. Okay, so he was, but he wasn't full on drunk yet. Wufei was practically the voice of reason for Duo and his subconscious conscious, so no matter how much the other pilot wanted to, the Chinese male wasn't going to let Duo get ridiculously drunk, especially on his first full night of drinking. Normally, Wufei wouldn't care as much, but hangovers were a bitch. Enough said.

Wufei checked the clock on the wall. Somewhere past midnight. He glanced around and saw that some of who was invited had left silently. Quatre had mentioned something about leaving early in passing and he had looked a tad flushed. If anyone was a lightweight, Quatre was. Or maybe Yuy. Wufei smirked behind his hand for a moment. Yuy was, in Duo's earlier-voiced opinion, a "hardass in general and therefore a lightweight" when it came to drinking. Somehow, Wufei wouldn't doubt it. He wasn't about to explore the idea, though.

The girls had gone as well. Noin had mentioned reports the next day and Une also mentioned work. Dorothy had giggled over her martini glass earlier at Wufei when he was reprimanding Duo, which made him wonder about the strange girl. She had left in her normal fashion not twenty minutes before as well, with a loud farewell supposedly meaning to be fond, but most certainly not.

Basically, Wufei was the last person hanging around Duo. He watched the braided pilot toss his head back and down a shot of... what was that? Wufei raised an eyebrow when Duo slammed the cup back down, giggling as he did so. What was so funny? The alcohol was definitely affecting his brain.

"Oh, man, that was good!" Duo seemed ridiculously happy about this glass.

Wufei stared. "What was it?"

"Straight up rum, man!" Oh, so that explained it. "And I drank it just for you, buddy!" And there he went giggling again.

Wufei finally rolled his eyes. "Stop drinking a shot of everything for me; it's not necessary."

"But Wu, it's fun and besides, you're being no fun sitting there drinking water _which_ I might add has been sitting there for _ages_ and it's probably already warm... ew, warm water." Duo made a face before he went back to laughing.

Wufei sighed. "I'm driving you home. There is no way you're getting behind that wheel now." Not that Wufei would've allowed it to begin with. Duo – drunk or not – was dangerous behind the wheel. No joke.

"Aww, but Wu, I dun wanna go!" And Duo pouted. When Duo pouted, it always worked. Well, not so much on Wufei. Hence why he was left with the braided goof. He could withstand Duo's best pouts. And now this tipsy pout, which was an attempt at a pout in general, while it was the cutest expression Wufei had seen on Duo, he wasn't falling for it.

"I never said we were leaving now," Wufei said. Then added, "But you're not getting another drink. Bad enough you might feel this pretty good in the morning."

"I'm not a lightweight like Heeerrrooo," Duo replied, somewhat slurring slightly on Heero's name and attempting in a sing-song voice, but definitely failing. Wufei smirked at that. "Come on, Wuuu, lemme have one more!"

"No way," Wufei said, reprimanding Duo by hitting his hand lightly, like a child who was reaching for cookies and swatted for the sinful act of nearly stealing the goods. "Come on, we're heading out."

Wufei placed his credit card down on the counter for the bartender as the man racked up the price. Wufei was surprised at how little it came out to be, but then again, some _had_ been "on the house." Wufei shrugged and when his credit card returned to his black pants pocket (he had chosen to wear black pants and a black tank top tonight instead of his normal white), he helped Duo slide out of the stool. While Duo wasn't really drunk, he certainly walked like a drunkard. Wufei had huffed out a sigh before smirking and leading the other pilot out of the bar.

"Only you, Maxwell, only you," he muttered, but there was no malice, of course. In fact, needless to say, Wufei was quite amused by this whole series of events, however fast they flew by.

Normally, Wufei rode on his motorcycle, but seeing as he was Duo's designated driver, he had left his bike at his place. He didn't need the pilot sliding off and getting killed. Wufei took sharp turns on his bike, after all. Duo would go flying off even if he'd had a sip. Not that Wufei doubted Duo's grip – no, he trusted it, _definitely_ – but the danger was there and well... a splattered Duo wasn't pleasant.

Wufei slipped the keys to Duo's car out of the braided pilot's pocket while the other rambled on about cakes and something about random texts on his phone, but the Chinese male wasn't listening. He slipped Duo into the back seat, buckling him up before sliding into the driver's seat and starting the engine. When he did, he heard Duo giggling and how "vibrating wasn't a good seduction method" to which Wufei just rolled his eyes and began driving out of the parking lot.

Most of the ride home was silent and uninteresting, although Wufei couldn't help smirk when Duo asked if it was real life while watching out the window as they passed a sign. And when Duo giggled and tried to reach for Wufei for a hug because Wufei was the bestest drinking buddy ever, well, maybe not best considering Trowa actually drank medium stuff and Wufei didn't drink at all but Duo said that it hadn't diminished their friendship, nope, not one bit. Wufei snorted under his breath as he pulled up to the apartment that belonged to the tipsy passenger in the back seat.

"Hey, Wu, nice place ya got there," Duo remarked, staring up at his own house.

Wufei snorted again and got out of his seat, helped Duo out of his, and walked up to the front door. Nice of Duo to have his home key with his car keys. Duo mumbled something about walking teddy bears and how the stars were moving and why in the hell was Wufei looking down at his shoes and taking him inside cause he wanted to play with the dancing teddy bears! Wufei's house looked funny. It looked exactly like Duo's.

"Wu, you jerk," he said lightly as he laughed. "You didn't have to flatter me by redesigning your house to look like mine, ya know!"

Wufei rolled his eyes. "This is _your_ house, dummy."

"Nahh, mine's trashed," Duo murmured before he leaned against Wufei's shoulder. Despite their slight age difference and all, Wufei was still lightly taller than him. Meh. Whhhyyy was he so much tallleerr? Duo pouted without realizing it and before he knew it, he was in bed. "Wu, c'mere!" He flailed his arms around slowly when Wufei was out of his grip.

Wufei shook his head with mirth shining in his dark eyes. "No thanks. Sleep off that alcohol, Maxwell." Wufei then placed a glass of water next to Duo's bed, seeing as how the braided goof would definitely forget. Wufei _had_ mentioned a glass of water was needed by Duo's bed in case he got sick in the night or if he felt his hangover early. Or just in general. Better to throw up water than stomach lining.

Duo giggled again when Wufei was heading out the door before he got silent again. Wufei almost glanced back to see if Duo was asleep, but he was proven correct when Duo mumbled something. Wufei raised an eyebrow. "What, Duo?"

"Thanks," the other male murmured.

Wufei blinked. "For what?"

"For making my 21st birthday fucking epic." That response sounded slurry and sleepy.

"I didn't do too much," Wufei said, curiosity in his voice.

"Nah, you did. I mean, everyone left early but you stuck around and ya know, stuck around and... yeah, you stuck around throughout the whole thing and it was epic and—"

"Go to sleep, Duo," Wufei interrupted, a small smile on his face. "Talk more in the morning."

"Don't go blowing up any microwaves, Wu," Duo murmured back for some reason unknown to the Chinese male.

A chuckle. "I'll remember that."

Wufei turned out the lights.


End file.
